~ To myself on Father’s Day ~

I have recently came to the realisation that being a kid is hard work. Yes, being a kid is hard. Imagine being born, you never asked for this life, no choice. You were forced to get into this world. Life was given to you by two people, just like that. You get here harmless, innocent, fragile.

You will need to rely on those two people for any basic need for the first 10+ years of your life and you gotta pray you end up having two good people by your side cos you won’t have a voice or much choice until you grow up. They will be your voice, they will be your facilitators in this world. Those two people will shape your mind, your language, your view of the world, your feelings yeah that’s right…your feelings and therefore your idea and experience of love. Your freedom to be whoever you want to be will be under their condition, based on what they consider right, wrong, popular or acceptable. They will try and tone it down, tell you to fix yourself according to an invisible timeline of events which you are supposed to follow until the end of your days. It might happen that you will feel unsafe. You are going to grow up being told you have to love and adore your parents no matter what and for the first years of your life you will believe that your parents love you deeply and unconditionally too. If you are lucky this will be true and this will give you a great start in life as you will be able to build your own identity on love, respect, communication and empathy. You will bloom into a emotionally intelligent person and you will able to use your energy to build a great life.

I have to warn you tho, the opposite is also a possibility. It might happen that your parents will have you doubt yourself and yes, they might use your unconditional love towards them as a weapon. They will manipulate your love and use it against you, they will make you feel guilty about things that are not your fault. If this happens, you are going to feel emotionally responsible for them and for everything they might project on you. Again, this will feel unsafe and confusing, their expectations will be heavy burdens to carry and society will be feeding all this crap. Yes, society. Growing up you will get to know this weird one, society. This is something you should run away from cos society, together with your parents, will most probably try and take away your wings. No one is going to remind you that you were born with those wings, no one is going to remember they are yours and that they are there for a good reason. Please don’t believe what you are told, believe how people make you feel. Go and see the world, learn about other people and cultures, challenge your mind and make mistakes. They will hardly allow you to be human, they will be against drugs, they will give you a long list of things you shouldn’t be doing. Don’t believe them. Protect your wings my love and fly high. Remember to make mistakes, normalise fucking things up, don’t waste time trying to understand them or please them but use that time to search for your higher self, that’s someone (and only one) you should trust. No one is born free but there is plenty of space for freedom in this life, go get it.

"I do it because I love you"

Peace (one day)

Anna